Update: Aren't we colored, after all.
This morning, I decided to get off my honk and go for a swim at the local YMCA. Normally I'm alone, but today I walked in to find several people already swimming in the lanes, including a 30-something black man and his black girlfriend. As I undressed, the woman swam off but the man turned to me and asked a question.
"Do you speak English?"
I blinked a couple times. Was he serious? I responded with an Uh, YEAH! and jumped in the lane.
He chatted at me while I swam, being goofy and trash talking. I laughed as he hassled me to compete against his doggy-paddling, then showed me "the kitten stroke" - a series of goofy paddles down the lane while meowing every 2 seconds. He wasn't a bad person, just misinformed (REALLY misinformed). So when he asked me his second question, I wasn't nearly as surprised.
"So. What are you?"
Excuse me?
"You know. What ARE you?"
I'm American.
"Yeah but you know...what's your culture? You look Vietnames 'cuz you got them slanted eyes."
Of course, I knew what he was getting at, I was just toying with his ignorance. No, sorry, keep guessing.
"Oh. Are you Asian?"
What?! This guy had no clue. Asian is a broad term. It's like calling you African American.
"Oh, I get it. So....?"
I'm Chinese.
"Oh okay, see a lot of them Asian folks, they got slanted eyes, right? So I guessed Vietnamese."
Before he left, he introduced himself to me and his girlfriend. "I'm Rodney," he said.
Nice to meet you. I'm Leslie.
"Ooooh, you got an American name too? WOW!" he exclaimed.
He walked off to the hot tub and I chuckled to myself. Aren't we colored, after all.
"Do you speak English?"
I blinked a couple times. Was he serious? I responded with an Uh, YEAH! and jumped in the lane.
He chatted at me while I swam, being goofy and trash talking. I laughed as he hassled me to compete against his doggy-paddling, then showed me "the kitten stroke" - a series of goofy paddles down the lane while meowing every 2 seconds. He wasn't a bad person, just misinformed (REALLY misinformed). So when he asked me his second question, I wasn't nearly as surprised.
"So. What are you?"
Excuse me?
"You know. What ARE you?"
I'm American.
"Yeah but you know...what's your culture? You look Vietnames 'cuz you got them slanted eyes."
Of course, I knew what he was getting at, I was just toying with his ignorance. No, sorry, keep guessing.
"Oh. Are you Asian?"
What?! This guy had no clue. Asian is a broad term. It's like calling you African American.
"Oh, I get it. So....?"
I'm Chinese.
"Oh okay, see a lot of them Asian folks, they got slanted eyes, right? So I guessed Vietnamese."
Before he left, he introduced himself to me and his girlfriend. "I'm Rodney," he said.
Nice to meet you. I'm Leslie.
"Ooooh, you got an American name too? WOW!" he exclaimed.
He walked off to the hot tub and I chuckled to myself. Aren't we colored, after all.
posted by The mini ninja at 7:22 PM
13 Comments:
Wow, Leslie, great topic and great posts! I'll try not to hog the blog with too long a comment, but here goes:
Living in a big melting pot of a city like New York, I have to say that I feel more comfortable this way. I think a lot of prejudice stems from not being around those of other cultures and realizing people are all people, not some alien beings just because they look different.
BG's neighborhood is mostly Latino and African American. We are the minority here, but I never feel odd about it when I'm in his 'hood. However, there is a Mormon church nearby and I sometimes see the young recruits on the street. I have to say they look so painfully white that it doesn't seem normal to me--like they're too inbred. Same when I visit certain regions or see the "typical" tourist--just doesn't seem homogenous enough for me. I guess that's being prejudiced too.
I've experienced a bit of what you're talking about, since I'm Jewish (or half-Jewish, anyway.) But I find it very empowering to be able to joke about myself. BG is super goyish (non Jewish) looking, so sometimes I call him a hick, but I also jokingly refer to some people as real Jews. The thing is, sometimes people do exhibit certain stereotypes. For instance, BG's former Jewish bosses (he called them his owners) kind of exploited him, I think--though he didn't resent it. Some Jewish people--particularly more religious ones who are more segregated--may not realize that by feeling that non-Jews are different from them that they are playing into the same game that anti-Semites do.
And finally, I think that some people are super sensitive to percieved slurs against their own race or culture, but don't always apply this reasoning to races different than their own. I personally find that a humorous approach (like your post here) helps keep things in perspective.
Well, I won't go rattle on anymore--thanks for a terrific, thought provoking post.
Oops--I meant to say "they seem too homogenous to me" in the above post. Oh well.
These are great posts you're writing! This man you talk about sounds like a good stereotype of how others view Americans, actually (so I can answer the question you asked in the last post). We're seen as friendly (even too friendly), but totally ignorant about the rest of the world. I'm impressed that you were able to get past the negative, and focus on the friendliness part - I tend to take those kinds of comments far too personally.
yes, these have been great posts. Race is very tough sometimes and as I can say I have never been quite as ignorant as that man I did learn the hard way myself. I once tried to introduce my Indian friend to a Pakistani girl. I had no idea the countries hated each other. I saw brown skin and similar food and thought "hey they would like each other". Talk about Romeo and Juliet if they ever would have hit it off. He ended up with an American woman much to the dismay of his father. After I messed up so bad with that I vowed to always be sensitive to all types of cultures and never ASSUME anything again. But I still slip sometimes :(
Some people have ZERO tact.
Ben - I'm tempted to say that you do have an uncanny resemblance to Martians, but that wouldn't be fair as you wear clothes (most of the time) and your skin does not have a greenish tint.
Plus, it's only fun to be a smartass with people who actually GET IT. I have a feeling that if I told Rodney that I was a Martian, he would have looked at me with a helpless, confused look and said something like "Nuh uh, really?!"
Elvira - Such intriguing comments. My situations and feelings are similar, but the exact opposite. As you live in a huge melting pot, you are accustomed to seeing people of all races. As you described, the young Mormons look "painfully white" - so boring against all the colors that you usually come against.
I have lived in white cities and gone to white schools my entire life, and thus I am accustomed to seeing, befriending, and dating white people. When I am in large groups of minority, particularly Asians, they look so "painfully Asian" - so stereotypical that I am uncomfortable and want out immediately.
You're right - it is empowering to joke about oneself and I think I should do it more often. Jason and I also have polar backgrounds like you and BG - I come from an educated, upper class, suburban minority standpoint. Jason comes from a less educated, middle class, rural standpoint. (When I refer to "education", I don't mean intelligence, just the priority in college degrees and decorations.) It has been interesting to see the two backgrounds come together in our relationship.
I also agree that one needs to look outside his/her own race and be sensitive to other racial lines as well. I would be the one always correcting people who say "that's gay", and I've written lots of papers about AF and white relations. However, I totally admit to still have prejudice against inner city people (black or white) AND I fear that I cannot live outside the U.S. because nothing could be as advanced as anything in the U.S. (HA!)
Kimananda - We're viewed as friendly? I suppose it's true that usually we contribute more money to global disasters than any other country. But ignorance...oh ignorance!...is so prevalent here. Geography IS STILL my worst subject. I won't go into how bad, but suffice it to say that I would come in last in a "place the continents in the right place on the globe" contest. Yikes, I need to work on this. (I used to have a game on my computer that taught me geography.) Any online programs you know of that could help?
Daphnewood - As aforementioned with Kimananda, I am TERRIBLE at geography and, subsequently, not much better with history. I would have made the same mistake. The only countries I know a little history about is America (only slightly) and China (thank you Chinese soap operas).
And while we're on the subject, the Chinese don't like the Japanese, and vv. :) You wouldn't find that hatred in young generations, but I doubt my grandparents would ever befriend someone Japanese.
Becky - Hm yes, TACT - a keen sense of what to say and what not to say. But as I said to Ben, I doubt that man had any idea he was being tactless. To him, he was just asking innocent, curious questions. That's why I wasn't as offended as I might have been.
If you want a good example of ZERO TACT, that would be Jason - who humps my leg when he wants a piece, calls me ugly and smelly, tells me if I got pregnant he'd buy a shovel, and farts immediately after romantic moments. I say he has zero tact because, unlike Rodney, he is keenly aware of what he is doing, but does it anyway for the humor factor. (Sadly, he's usually the only one laughing, but at least he's easy to entertain, right?)
It's good that he knows he can do those things with/around/to you.
But I still think people need a good swift kick when they ask stupid questions like "Do you speak English?"
I would've said,"Do you?" HA!
well, thankfully you took it in stride as you seem to with everything else.
I kept waiting for you to go off on him, like how you go off on grocery stores for not stocking your fat-free chips. Maybe you're really NOT that irritable.
Gab At Les
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