7 Things.

Thank you, Daphne, for giving me this list and thus something to do at work.

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die

1. Conceive a baby with the man I love AND give birth the natural way (no C section).
2. Stay a size 6 while continuing my diet of chocolate and sweet potato fries for as long as humanly possible.
3. Become so well acquainted with the English language that I always know the exact word to describe what I am feeling instead of squirming and squeezing my brain until a half-baked word comes out.
4. Expand my Chinese vocabulary and improve my American Sign Language and Russian (I don’t like Spanish or French).
5. Write a bestseller novel about the dramatic movie that is my life.
6. Master the art of shooting a gun while looking totally badass AND managing to NOT shoot myself.
7. Prove to my parents that it is possible to have a happy marriage, functional children, AND a clean home all at the same damn time.

7 Things I Can Do

1. Contort my face to resemble a pig, fish, or anything else that’s ugly.
2. Bake a mean and thoroughly irresistible pumpkin chocolate chunk cake.
3. Clean and organize anything.
4. Battle in witty banter…and win.
5. Sing…in a choir, in a talent show, in karaoke, at church, in the car…I’m mighty good at it too.
6. Write and verbalize what I want to say in an engaging, interesting way.
7. Swallow big pills.

7 Things I Cannot Do

1. Drive stick.
2. Stand or walk for longer than an hour a day.
3. Focus on more than one thing at a time. VERY linear thinker. (However, I’m good at multi-tasking. It makes sense, trust me.)
4. Point with a straight finger. (I have double-jointed fingers so when I point, my finger is crooked.)
5. Play video games that involve gangsters or golf. Snore.
6. Own a doll. They are ugly, stiff, and scary. Only stuffed animals for me.
7. Go to bed without brushing my teeth. MUST always go to bed with a clean mouth.

7 Things That Attract Me To the Opposite Sex

1. Structured, handsome face
2. Brunette or darker
3. Strong, manly hands
4. Humor and wit
5. Intelligence equal to mine
6. Faith in God
7. Ease and charm

7 Things That Attract Me To The Same Sex

1. Charm and magnetism
2. Range of interests
3. Maturity in thought and manner
4. Humor and wit
5. Love and compassion
6. Energy and optimism
7. A love for food

7 Things I Say Most Often

1. I know, right?
2. I’m hungry.
3. Love you, baby.
4. I’m hungry.
5. You’re crazy.
6. I’m hungry.
7. You look like a goon.

7 Celebrity Crushes I Am Not Ashamed of
I don’t really have celebrity crushes because 1) I think I'd lead a tortured life crushing on someone I'd never be with and 2) I think the one I'm already with is pretty damn hot so...

7 Paradoxes I Am Not Ashamed Of

1. Love kettle corn, hate butter popcorn
2. Love popcorn Jellybellies, hate Jellybeans
3. Attracted to Caucasians, not attracted to Asians
4. Love a bright green, don’t have a green thumb
5. Love lobster, hate crabs
6. Cry on my side, sleep on my back
7. Devour chocolate or soft candy, can’t finish a piece of hard candy