I love you, Jason.

Phone conversation with Jason while he's at work:

"*sniffle*"
Blow your nose!
"No!"
Blow your nose!
"No!"
Why?
"It's either the rough TP or paper towels here. I'd rather wait until I get home."
Your TP at home isn't very soft either.
"That's true...not like your TP..."
That's right! My toilet paper is nice and soft...good for the tushy.
"That reminds me! When I was going home from your place the other day, I realized that I wanted to take a crap before I left but I forgot. So I had to hold it in the whole ride home!"
Haha! How come you can talk about poopin' but I can't? You double-standard you!
"Whatever."
Everyone poops, Jason.
"Not everyone!"
What?! Name one person.
"You..."