Life after X.
I was 14 when I met Steve.
Steve. My first date. My first kiss. My first boyfriend. My first high school memories.
Steve. My first betrayal. My first heartache. My first tangible loss.
With Steve went my friends, my confidence, and my strength to climb out of the mud hole I was quickly slipping into. Even after I won my battle many years later, Steve would still wriggle his way into my memory through the story of my life. And every time I retold my story, his name would appear.
Eventually time healed the wound that could not heal itself. Yet every now and then, I’d imagine what it would be like to see him again. My imagination started out with beating the shit out of him, but as I grew up, so did my thoughts, and after a while I simply wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, and if I’d recognize him on the street.
I know the answer now. When I passed him in the hallways of my church yesterday, I recognized him almost immediately. He recognized me too, squinting his eyes, tilting his head, and asked, “Leslie?”
Steve?
Yes, it was. It had been 9 years, and with the exception of his sun bleached, wavy hair, he looked the exact same.
We exchanged quick life stories so as not to allow room for awkward pauses. He told me he and his entire family had moved to South Carolina (that explained the hair), and he, his family, and his fiancé, were in town for his grandparents’ 50th anniversary. I introduced Jason, and my past and my future shook hands. We chatted for a few minutes before parting on well wishes, knowing we would never see each other again.
As we walked away, I told Jason who that was.
“Want me to beat him up?” he asked, slamming his fist into his open palm.
I laughed, not at the absurdity of his suggestion, but out of surprise that I didn’t think of it first. Still, I shook my head, and took his hand.
No, I’m good, I smiled.
And we walked out, hand in hand, without looking back.
Steve. My first date. My first kiss. My first boyfriend. My first high school memories.
Steve. My first betrayal. My first heartache. My first tangible loss.
With Steve went my friends, my confidence, and my strength to climb out of the mud hole I was quickly slipping into. Even after I won my battle many years later, Steve would still wriggle his way into my memory through the story of my life. And every time I retold my story, his name would appear.
Eventually time healed the wound that could not heal itself. Yet every now and then, I’d imagine what it would be like to see him again. My imagination started out with beating the shit out of him, but as I grew up, so did my thoughts, and after a while I simply wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, and if I’d recognize him on the street.
I know the answer now. When I passed him in the hallways of my church yesterday, I recognized him almost immediately. He recognized me too, squinting his eyes, tilting his head, and asked, “Leslie?”
Steve?
Yes, it was. It had been 9 years, and with the exception of his sun bleached, wavy hair, he looked the exact same.
We exchanged quick life stories so as not to allow room for awkward pauses. He told me he and his entire family had moved to South Carolina (that explained the hair), and he, his family, and his fiancé, were in town for his grandparents’ 50th anniversary. I introduced Jason, and my past and my future shook hands. We chatted for a few minutes before parting on well wishes, knowing we would never see each other again.
As we walked away, I told Jason who that was.
“Want me to beat him up?” he asked, slamming his fist into his open palm.
I laughed, not at the absurdity of his suggestion, but out of surprise that I didn’t think of it first. Still, I shook my head, and took his hand.
No, I’m good, I smiled.
And we walked out, hand in hand, without looking back.
posted by The mini ninja at 10:39 AM
6 Comments:
nice closure! good for you Leslie and good for Jason that he kept his fists in check. I really liked this post
awesome, kinda like when I bumped into Seamus the day before my wedding!
I felt like I was the one that won in the end.
Congratulations keeping composure in that situation. Honestly, I can't even imagine what would happen if I came face to face with my "Steve".
What an amazing moment! Closure feels SOO good. I had a really great experience the night we got engaged. Greg and I went out to eat at our favorite restaurant to celebrate and sitting RIGHT BEHIND Greg was the only guy that has ever dumped me AND the girl that he dumped me for. Seeing the two options right next to eachother, I couldn't imagine devoting another second of angst towards such a loser when I had a wonderful man right there with me.
Great writing! :-)
Keep up the good work Time of growth model for clostridium botulinum
Gab At Les
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