Friends Forever?
Is it possible for a non-single or married person to maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex?
Growing up, I had A LOT of male friends. It wasn’t on purpose; I simply got along much better with the boys. But you attract people who are like you and I attracted the ones who were simple, funny, and brutally honest. In short, I was always friends with boys. I didn’t care for maneuvering the red tape of adolescent girls.
Before long it was common for me to be the only girl in the room. I was one of the boys. (It wasn’t until college that it became a problem: my longtime crush started thinking of me more as a guy pal than a possible girlfriend, thus crushing my fantasy and forcing me to rethink my identity.)
It was that way my whole life. I didn’t have to try – I was naturally more attracted to boys for friends. It wasn’t until we “grew up” that I began to question the stamina of our friendships. One by one they found their true love. Some of them got married. And slowly but surely, we began to lose touch.
But it was more than distance. If I ever got to talk to them again, the spark of our friendship was gone. No more coarse sex jokes. No more brooding about love. No more spontaneous a.m. trips. We went from talking about everything to talking about nothing.
Where did my friends go?
So I’m wondering…is this just a part of life that I have to accept? Does this mean they have matured (ew)? Does this mean we were never really friends in the first place? Is it only possible to be close to a guy while he’s single?
Editor’s note: Oddly enough, I attract only women on my blog, despite the opposite in real life. Is this weird? (Not that I’m complaining, gals. Ya’ll are awesome.)
Growing up, I had A LOT of male friends. It wasn’t on purpose; I simply got along much better with the boys. But you attract people who are like you and I attracted the ones who were simple, funny, and brutally honest. In short, I was always friends with boys. I didn’t care for maneuvering the red tape of adolescent girls.
Before long it was common for me to be the only girl in the room. I was one of the boys. (It wasn’t until college that it became a problem: my longtime crush started thinking of me more as a guy pal than a possible girlfriend, thus crushing my fantasy and forcing me to rethink my identity.)
It was that way my whole life. I didn’t have to try – I was naturally more attracted to boys for friends. It wasn’t until we “grew up” that I began to question the stamina of our friendships. One by one they found their true love. Some of them got married. And slowly but surely, we began to lose touch.
But it was more than distance. If I ever got to talk to them again, the spark of our friendship was gone. No more coarse sex jokes. No more brooding about love. No more spontaneous a.m. trips. We went from talking about everything to talking about nothing.
Where did my friends go?
So I’m wondering…is this just a part of life that I have to accept? Does this mean they have matured (ew)? Does this mean we were never really friends in the first place? Is it only possible to be close to a guy while he’s single?
Editor’s note: Oddly enough, I attract only women on my blog, despite the opposite in real life. Is this weird? (Not that I’m complaining, gals. Ya’ll are awesome.)
posted by The mini ninja at 2:07 PM
7 Comments:
I bet most of the women who comment on your blog had more male friends growing up than female. I know I did. Please keep track and let me know. It is totally fascinating to me how like personalities seem to find each other.
Only women? Are you calling me a woman, or are you saying that you repulse me on your blog rather than attracting me?
Well, I always had more male friends, all my life. Motherhood sort of changes that. Somewhere along the way I ended up spending much more time with women.
I still love men. I personally have a hard time being close friends with guys, though. Either they misunderstand, or others in my reality misunderstand.
I like you, though! :-)
As Daphnewood says, I had mainly male friends while growing up...but now I have more female friends. It seems easier to bond with women now as an adult. Strange, isn't it?
Jeremy, you crack me up. What I SHOULD have said is that my blog tends to attract only women...unless you are a male who has met me before, like you.
Of course, you are also more mature and, being married, more familiar with the ways of the woman. I doubt younger guys would be interested in my feminine rants. (Except for Mark. Mark has never met me and still reads my blog. He must be special.)
Ladies, you are wonderful. Isn't it amazing that we all have this in common? That we used to always be friends with guys, but as we grow older, we tend to gravitate towards the gals.
Well, I'm not complaining. More girls it is!
I hate girls. I have very few close female friends, but mostly I end up getting stabbed in the back. Growing up, I also had more male friends for that exact reason. Don't know what my deal is now.
Gab At Les
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