Honey, I'm Home!
I've never had a home. Not in the poetic sense, anyway. I've never had what a home connotes: familiarity, belonging, time, recognition. When I was at college, I was jealous of all the silly freshmen who cried because they missed home. I wished I had something to miss. Growing up, I was transferred through six different schools, hugging friends goodbye as fast as I made them. Home life was turbulent and painful. Consequently, my room was the only thing that was ever my own. My very own space and time that never changed and I always recognized. That's probably why to this day, I do 90% of my indoor activities inside my bedroom, and the first thing I look at when renting a place is the spaciousness of the bedroom. That's MY own place. It's where I know I belong.
Life after I graduated was and is NOTHING like I expected, and a big part of my surprise has to do with where I am. If I was living the life I'd thrown together my senior year, I'd be waitressing right now in Nashville, Tennessee, living on bread and the country soul. After living an entire life of non-existence in Cincinnati, I swore it off. Anything but Cincinnati. No Cincinnati. Not ever, ever again. But here I am. I'm here, down in the humble, no-nonsense city of Cincinnati, and I have no plans to leave any time soon.
What happened? How could the city I hated all my life turn into the city that would hold my life in its hands as it flourished? Did it change or did I?
I really don't know. I really don't care. All I know is that life changes, and within a month of moving back home, I met some new friends. So I stayed.
Then I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. So I stayed.
Then I met Jason. So I stayed.
Then I got my first job. So I stayed.
Then I moved out and into my first "hey I'm all on my own now!" apartment and bought my first car. So I stayed.
Then I got sick, sicker, and sicker-est. So I had to stay.
Then suddenly the ball dropped, and it was 2006. The storm of my life had cleared but had left me unemployed and slightly clueless. So I prayed (a little) and pounded the pavement (a lot). I got one client here, one client there, and then in one week in March, I got 4 new clients all at once. Suddenly the little girl in pigtails needed a business suit, 'cuz HELLO WORLD, she's a professional!
And now here I am. Jason and I are officially an "old couple" with one year under our belt. I'm no longer sick. My parents and I are no longer trying to assassinate each other. I'm getting more clients all the time. Because of my new involvement in the community, I constantly meet eager young professionals working in all kinds of cool places that will one day take over this city. Once in a while, I even meet someone pretty important. And in my downtime, I'm reading the magazines that I used to see on the floor of my parents' study rooms and gag. You know, those boring magazines that need more flair on their covers and talk about business and local happenings? Yeah, I'm actually reading those. And liking it. *shudder*
And so, without even meaning to, I did the exact opposite of what I had planned and still came out with a better outcome. A home. A real home that I miss when I'm away. A place where people recognize me, where I have my favorite restaurants, where I'm proud - proud to live and be a part of.
It only took me 23 years to find a home. And it feels great.
Life after I graduated was and is NOTHING like I expected, and a big part of my surprise has to do with where I am. If I was living the life I'd thrown together my senior year, I'd be waitressing right now in Nashville, Tennessee, living on bread and the country soul. After living an entire life of non-existence in Cincinnati, I swore it off. Anything but Cincinnati. No Cincinnati. Not ever, ever again. But here I am. I'm here, down in the humble, no-nonsense city of Cincinnati, and I have no plans to leave any time soon.
What happened? How could the city I hated all my life turn into the city that would hold my life in its hands as it flourished? Did it change or did I?
I really don't know. I really don't care. All I know is that life changes, and within a month of moving back home, I met some new friends. So I stayed.
Then I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. So I stayed.
Then I met Jason. So I stayed.
Then I got my first job. So I stayed.
Then I moved out and into my first "hey I'm all on my own now!" apartment and bought my first car. So I stayed.
Then I got sick, sicker, and sicker-est. So I had to stay.
Then suddenly the ball dropped, and it was 2006. The storm of my life had cleared but had left me unemployed and slightly clueless. So I prayed (a little) and pounded the pavement (a lot). I got one client here, one client there, and then in one week in March, I got 4 new clients all at once. Suddenly the little girl in pigtails needed a business suit, 'cuz HELLO WORLD, she's a professional!
And now here I am. Jason and I are officially an "old couple" with one year under our belt. I'm no longer sick. My parents and I are no longer trying to assassinate each other. I'm getting more clients all the time. Because of my new involvement in the community, I constantly meet eager young professionals working in all kinds of cool places that will one day take over this city. Once in a while, I even meet someone pretty important. And in my downtime, I'm reading the magazines that I used to see on the floor of my parents' study rooms and gag. You know, those boring magazines that need more flair on their covers and talk about business and local happenings? Yeah, I'm actually reading those. And liking it. *shudder*
And so, without even meaning to, I did the exact opposite of what I had planned and still came out with a better outcome. A home. A real home that I miss when I'm away. A place where people recognize me, where I have my favorite restaurants, where I'm proud - proud to live and be a part of.
It only took me 23 years to find a home. And it feels great.
posted by The mini ninja at 6:10 PM
3 Comments:
good for you Leslie! After getting married I lived in Germany, California and Texas and now Kansas. Those were just places. It is the people that make it home. I am glad you have found that, no matter the city. And congrats on your thriving business. God never leaves you high and dry, does He?
darlin, sometimes, ....even at my old age ;) ... one still seeks the place she call truly call home.
If you look inward, it's there.
Right? Right!
It's good to read you. Sometimes, when I come here, I feel at home.
Because I know that little sassy girl from Ohio... the one I've never even met... cares.
I'm impressed...I'm well over 23 years old and I still haven't found home. Or to put a more positive spin, I've found several. Home is where you make it, and it sounds like you're making it! ;-)
Gab At Les
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