Go Home! Wednesday, September 06, 2006 Privacy for Privates I hate public restrooms. I have nothing against the restroom part. The toilet and I are good friends. If my butt is having frequent outings with the toilet, that's the sign of a solid friendship.It's the public part I can't stand. I can't have conversations with the toilet when someone else is sitting right beside me having the same conversation. How did restroom designers think that a metal semi-wall would make me feel more comfortable? Does that somehow shorten the distance between my dropped panties and hers?When someone walks into the stall right next to mine, I freeze. I squeeze my systems to a shutdown, close my eyes, and pretend I'm invisible. Then it happens. My mind floods with an overwhelming rush of thoughts. Is she having the same conversation as I am? Am I going to faint from her part of the conversation? Is she looking at my shoes like I'm looking at hers?And then I start listening to clues. A rip means tampon. A nervous shuffle means poop. A clearing of the throat means pee. (You know you have the same decoding system, don't lie.)Finally, I start sending her strong 'go away' vibes. Go away, I say. This is an A-B conversation, so C yourself out.Do I hear an Amen? posted by The mini ninja at 3:13 PM 4 Comments: Beckalicious said... Most of my public bathroom thoughts center around the cleanliness (or apparent lack thereof, as is the case 99% of the time - the other 1%, I'm thinking,"Dang, this is a really clean bathroom... I might actually be able to SIT on the toilet.")Rarely do I have bodily function thoughts. Probably because I only pee in public bathrooms.And, honestly, I have never had a decoding system.But you know what REALLY bothers me? When there are EIGHTEEN STALLS OPEN AND THE PERSON WHO JUST WALKED IN CHOOSES THE ONE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE.Gah, I HATE that. 5:36 PM Morris said... Having been sick for 4 hours one time in various restrooms around work, I came to the shocking conclusion very few people toilet paper the seat before they sit down! Kinda scary. I listened for the visual cues too, unizipping of the pants, the immediate plop of the body hitting the seat, the and then the sigh of relief ;) 5:47 PM Rowan said... I have to either flush while I pee or else I hold whatever sacrifice I have to offer the john until all the others in the stalls have left. I enjoy my solitude....but maybe it's just me that does that. 1:11 PM The mini ninja said... You guys want to hear something scary? I have never laid down paper before sitting down on a public toilet.Now that I think about it, that's sort of disgusting...hmm... 4:57 PM Gab At Les << Home About Me Name: The mini ninja Location: Ohio, United States Because all karate chops to your neck come in small packages. View my complete profile I HEART THESE PEOPLE Mollie Donovan Mother Song Emerald Eyes Becky Astryngia Brendon Lori Kjersten Angel H Daphnewood Mark Elvira Black Kimananda Morris Rowan Tara Nikki Egland Becca Sam(antha) Jeremy Stephanie Etchen Jen (my sister) Nate Fated Nervous Girl Dawnamarie Joey CincyGirl (my roommate)
posted by The mini ninja at 3:13 PM
Most of my public bathroom thoughts center around the cleanliness (or apparent lack thereof, as is the case 99% of the time - the other 1%, I'm thinking,"Dang, this is a really clean bathroom... I might actually be able to SIT on the toilet.")Rarely do I have bodily function thoughts. Probably because I only pee in public bathrooms.And, honestly, I have never had a decoding system.But you know what REALLY bothers me? When there are EIGHTEEN STALLS OPEN AND THE PERSON WHO JUST WALKED IN CHOOSES THE ONE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE.Gah, I HATE that.
Having been sick for 4 hours one time in various restrooms around work, I came to the shocking conclusion very few people toilet paper the seat before they sit down! Kinda scary. I listened for the visual cues too, unizipping of the pants, the immediate plop of the body hitting the seat, the and then the sigh of relief ;)
I have to either flush while I pee or else I hold whatever sacrifice I have to offer the john until all the others in the stalls have left. I enjoy my solitude....but maybe it's just me that does that.
You guys want to hear something scary? I have never laid down paper before sitting down on a public toilet.Now that I think about it, that's sort of disgusting...hmm...
Gab At Les
<< Home
Because all karate chops to your neck come in small packages.
View my complete profile
Mollie Donovan
Mother Song
Emerald Eyes
Becky
Astryngia
Brendon
Lori
Kjersten
Angel H
Daphnewood
Mark
Elvira Black
Kimananda
Morris
Rowan
Tara
Nikki Egland
Becca
Sam(antha)
Jeremy
Stephanie
Etchen
Jen (my sister)
Nate
Fated
Nervous Girl
Dawnamarie
Joey
CincyGirl (my roommate)