If it's not one thing, it's another
After what seemed like endless months of snow, ice, and wind chill, spring is finally here. And yet, going outside is the last thing I want to do. Figures.
Jason and I are on the fritz. I don't know what happened. When the whole eBay thing happened I was obviously pretty upset, and he said some things that really really stung. I don't know if it was just miscommunication or what, but I was SO hurt and distraught by the whole deal that I told him I didn't want to see him this weekend. Which was the truth. Well he emailed me the next morning and apologized for making me upset. Even though he didn't apologize for his behavior, I took it as such, and agreed to see him this morning at church.
I'm not one to stay angry long, so I was ready to smile and move on. But when I got there, he barely looked me in the eye, never touched me, and took out his hurt on the kids that we minister to. That last part especially got me angry, but some people can't separate their feelings, I guess. We had driven separately, but I assumed that we'd go hang out at my place after I ran an errand at the mall. But when we finally stood at the parking lot, he looked at me and pursed his lips like he was about to cry. I gave him an open invitation to come with me as I did my errand, but he excused himself, saying that he wasn't good company when shopping and that he felt sick. With nothing else to say, we simply parted ways.
I'll be honest and say that I secretly hoped that he would be parked in front of my place when I got back, but I knew he wouldn't be there. If I know him right, he's either gone home to take a nap or play video games, or better yet, gone to a bar to drown his sorrows. But I don't know, I was secretly hoping that he'd want me enough to come get me, even if it meant chasing me down, you know? I guess that's just not who he is.
And now I'm eyeing my email out of the corner of my eye, hoping that he'll email me and this will all be a bad dream. But who knows, maybe I'm just wishing that because I'm afraid of change like everyone else in this world. Maybe we really are too different after all, and maybe I should just find someone who's more like me.
I don't know. I feel tired.
Jason and I are on the fritz. I don't know what happened. When the whole eBay thing happened I was obviously pretty upset, and he said some things that really really stung. I don't know if it was just miscommunication or what, but I was SO hurt and distraught by the whole deal that I told him I didn't want to see him this weekend. Which was the truth. Well he emailed me the next morning and apologized for making me upset. Even though he didn't apologize for his behavior, I took it as such, and agreed to see him this morning at church.
I'm not one to stay angry long, so I was ready to smile and move on. But when I got there, he barely looked me in the eye, never touched me, and took out his hurt on the kids that we minister to. That last part especially got me angry, but some people can't separate their feelings, I guess. We had driven separately, but I assumed that we'd go hang out at my place after I ran an errand at the mall. But when we finally stood at the parking lot, he looked at me and pursed his lips like he was about to cry. I gave him an open invitation to come with me as I did my errand, but he excused himself, saying that he wasn't good company when shopping and that he felt sick. With nothing else to say, we simply parted ways.
I'll be honest and say that I secretly hoped that he would be parked in front of my place when I got back, but I knew he wouldn't be there. If I know him right, he's either gone home to take a nap or play video games, or better yet, gone to a bar to drown his sorrows. But I don't know, I was secretly hoping that he'd want me enough to come get me, even if it meant chasing me down, you know? I guess that's just not who he is.
And now I'm eyeing my email out of the corner of my eye, hoping that he'll email me and this will all be a bad dream. But who knows, maybe I'm just wishing that because I'm afraid of change like everyone else in this world. Maybe we really are too different after all, and maybe I should just find someone who's more like me.
I don't know. I feel tired.
posted by The mini ninja at 1:52 PM
2 Comments:
I think this will all blow over, sweets. I really do. Keep yourself busy, and as the song says "everyone needs a little time away."
Perhaps you both need to just regroup and start fresh. That might take a few days.
Remember, he's a guy.
He's not one of us.
They don't always see things the way we do. They just don't.
;)
If you need me, you know where I am.
xoxxx
oh don't give up! Leslie, that is so unlike you. You are just down. Jason loves you. I always wish that my husband would come find me when I am upset but he never does. Call him if this distance is bothering you. You'll be glad you did. I know things will get better. I'm praying and praying over here. *hugs*
Gab At Les
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