Leslie: On Sports

Well I did it. I went to my first Bengals game last Monday. Everyone else screamed in jealousy when they found out I was going, so I figured it was something I had to experience at least once.

It was...well...okay why sugarcoat it? It was stupid. $30 for parking. $4 for a soda. $8 for a hamburger. 70,000 people dressed in orange and black tiger stripes, boozed out of their mind, high-fiving strangers every time we moved along the yard line. (Am I getting that right? Yard lines are in football, yes?) I kept thinking, "Do ANY of these people know how dorky they look?" Plus, football has so little action. It's a bunch of meatheads doing short sprints and running headlong into other meatheads. Where's the fun in that?

Conclusion: Baseball and tennis are WAY more exciting to witness. Phrases that can be heard from me while watching either sport - "Woo hoo HOO!" and "Oh WOW!" and "Oh OH OH! That was SO good!"